Of Vaginas And Fairness

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I recently saw this ad about a fairness cream for the vagina and it thoroughly disturbed me. To me it seems as if it defies all logic.

See, fairness cream ads try to sell insecurity to women about their own body’s color and also strengthens the idea of the objective gaze of a man.
The idea is to convince you that Men only care about the way you look or in this case the way your body reflects a certain colour (we’re being objective here). The fairness cream ads would like you to believe, no matter who you are – an athlete, an aspiring singer or working for a corporate firm, all that contributes to your success is your fairness. I really like how they keep it subtle that ways. I would like to see an honest ads one day where a girl gets promoted coz she’s fair and the next day the boss asks her for sexual favours and they have wild monkey sex and finish off with a massive orgasm. Too much for TV, is it?

Anyway, these ads probably try to show how an average guy thinks. I am an average guy. I look at girls all day and think about how they would look naked but even for a objectivizing pervert like me, idea of a fairness cream for the vagina is just plain atrocious for the following reasons

1) We all know fairness creams don’t work – like duh! come on. Fair and lovely was launched in 1978 in India. Do you see a white race in the making in India anywhere? If it takes more than 30 years for a fairness cream to work and assuming girls start applying the fairness cream to their vagina in their 20s, Do you seriously think guys are going to be running madly behind your 50-year-old pussy?

2) Assuming that the kind of objectivizing guy that the ads sell us exists, do you think he cares about the hole (vagina, to be specific. We are being objective here) he puts his penis into? You think he’s gonna walk out of the room the minute you strip down to nothing after he sees you have a colored vagina. ok screw diplomacy, it’s not colored that we are scared of. It’s BLACK that we fear.
On a side note, I would like to be with a girl with a colored vagina. the girl with a blue vagina. Wow! So Avatar-ish. I bet James Cameron masturbated to the idea of a blue vagina. There you go! You have an oscar winning guy with a thing for colored vagina.

3) The ad shows a clip art of a girl with a clean-shaven crotch and the cream being applied and percolating down the skin magically. OK so this is something that wont work in India definitely! Have you seen an average Indian Aunty apply fairness cream? the desperation to become fair overnight is very evident in the way they try to rub the cream violently down their skin, circling their hands with a minuscule quantity of the cream to ensure that it reaches every nook and cranny of their face . I think the same procedure on the vagina would count as masturbation. Now we wouldn’t want that, would we? Masturbation is after all a male preoccupation, right?

4) Do Indian men really have the right to demand a fair vagina when we ourselves have a penis so dark that even darkness bows down before it? Remember the old shaktimaan villain Tamraj Kilvish who said “Andhera kaayam rahe”, well yeah, little known fact but he was a cocksucker with a peculiar liking for Indian Cocks and hence the constant insistence on “Andhera Kaayam rahe”
If not for sanity, let’s do it for Kilvish. More power to dark Cocks and dark Pussies!

5) Let this not become a reason for cops in Noida to target women. “Woh wahaan pe fairness cream lagaayegi toh humaare ladke chodenge kya?”

6) And lastly the most important reason that makes me write this – ‘Liberated’ women with fair vaginas will demand beautiful men with a fair penis. Who’s got money for all that shit? How do you buy something like that from a general store? Isn’t the embarrassment faced when buying condoms painful enough?

Let us pledge to not fall for this marketing and advertising trap and love our women irrespective of their color.
Note to Women – Like a true foodie doesn’t care for the cuisine, Your lover, whether he loves you truly or is just a woman aficionado, doesn’t care for the color. He would make love to you irrespective of it. He wants your pussy so bad he would drink that vagina fairness cream if you asked him to. To be honest he’s probably thinking about your best friend while fucking you anyway. So relax, leave the rubbing of your vagina to him.

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